Self-awareness may seem counterintuitive to seeing, hearing, and knowing others, but I believe that working on ourselves is actually foundational to being able to connect well with others. We all want to be seen ourselves; once we figure out the moments throughout our lives where we’ve wanted to be seen or known or heard and haven’t been, we can start to become aware of the things that now trigger us.

 

Maybe it’s the relationships that bother us, the specific words, phrases, or habits of our significant others that don’t sit well with us, the coworker who never looks at us when he talks, and I'm sure you can think of a few more personal examples. Once we work through these triggers, we will gain understanding and a larger perspective of why these things have bothered us so much. Once we have an understanding of those triggers, they won’t become kryptonite for us anymore; we can disassociate from them in a healthy way in order to try to see, hear, and know other people.

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Enjoy this preview of Seen, Known + Heard: The Workbook.